Hello Blake, I really like the layout of your blog post. The dark background is a good contrast from the stories and does not clutter the story. I know that some backgrounds can almost be too overwhelming and people spend more time looking at the background than the content. I also really like how your directory box is a different color. It made it extremely accessible and easy to find where to go in your blog post for comments.
I really like the color scheme of your blog.The way the dark blue contrasts with the pale yellow makes your writings really stand out. I also like that your sidebar with your labels and archive is a different color. Basically the colors lead your eyes to specific places and make it so easy to navigate. Despite if that was intentional or not, you did a really good job on your blog design and I really appreciate the simplicity of it.
I loved your introduction! It was great how you laid out some background information (specifically, the ages the shifting begins and how it develops) really subtly! You also make them seem so much like a regular family, which is awesome. Your description of the mother wolf makes her seem warm and kind, like many of us would describe our own mothers. Yet, you also inserted the comment about the father werewolf tracking down prey. I think it is really hard sometimes to make creatures that are historically described as monsters seem both powerful and kind. This is a small detail, but I think it was really cute that the twins spoke in unison! That’s such a tiny thing, but it goes a long way in bringing them to life as characters. Overall, there really aren’t any changes I would make. Your writing flows really well, and there was a good mix of description and dialog. There should be a comma after “passed” towards the end of the intro, but that is the only thing I could see. All in all: it was very nicely done! I can’t wait to read the next part.
I really loved your introduction. I have a hard time giving my characters details like ages and such, but seeing you did that from the start means I should probably follow suit. I get too caught up in the story line, that I seem to ignore the charters that are part of the story. I like that the mother of the children was a motherly figure, as we would describe our mothers. You made the werewolves almost seem gentle and kind. But then again, as you described the father, we got to see the types of werewolves that we all have heard in the stories. I really like your style of writing and your word choice. It seems almost calming. There is nothing that I saw that I would recommend changing. I feel like you really put a lot of hard work and detail into your introduction post. Good job!
Hey Blake! First off, I love your title to your Storybook! It definitely grabbed my attention and made me want to read more to figure out what I don't know about Werewolf history! The design of your website is really simple, I think it could be really cool to add a picture to the background- maybe a full moon or a wolf picture! I think a picture in your background could really add to the starkness of your website! I love the first sentence to your introduction; it reminded me of a father or grandfather gathering around the kids to teach them a thing or two about "the olden days." Your introduction made me think I was right in that cabin with the pups! I really like that your last couple of sentences tell the reader what the first story will be about, it is really helpful and makes me want to keep reading!
Congrats on getting this far on your storybook! I know that it has been a lot of work. First off, your blog looks very nice. It is just minimalistic enough but still speaks to the theme of your whole storybook. It would be nice if there was a little more to the blog, however, just so that the reader has more to look at and better understand your theme by. Just a little more something The intro was very well written. I liked how you set the story up. It made it very easy to find yourself invested in the story as it felt like you were just another one of the werewolf children about to learn what it means to be a werewolf and be involved in your own history. I definitely will keep an eye out for the continuation of this story! Great job!
I headed back to your storybook for one of my free choice spots this week. I was not disappointed! Your first story was SO CREATIVE. I think the Metamorphosis story was a great starting point for your werewolf history, and you presented it in such a way that you will be able to flow seamlessly into the next story. You author’s note was really helpful in letting the reader know the changes you made, and also what details are important to note. Again, I really enjoyed the flow of your writing and the third person style you employ. Aesthetically, the font and text are all pleasing and easy to read, and the separation of the story within a story is marked nicely with the asterisks. There are quite a few missing commas, so you might just want to run back through and add some here and there, unless you were leaving them out for stylistic purposes. Overall, great job! Can’t wait to read more.
Your title threw me off for a second but then I realized that there was a story behind "The Werewolf". Very creative! I like to think that first impressions are always very important. I think that your stories are really great and your introduction has done an excellent job in setting the theme for your project. However, I think that it would be a good idea to work on the layout of your page. Although I have no problem with the simplicity of the page, the blue and they grey were a little distracting as I was trying to read since they didn't really coincide in my mind. Again, this is all an opinion and if what you have going on right now is working for you that is great! You had a really good Author's Note that helped me follow along to the changes that you had made. Great start.
I like that your introduction had a purpose for why the mother was talking to the kids about their history. I thought that her trying to entertain them while the father is out hunting is such a nice tough and you made it sound so cozy with them being snuggling up around a fire!! Also I love the picture you used. It really fits with your description. Everything in your introduction just fits together so well.
I also really liked your first story. But one thing I would maybe implement in your other stories is the kids’ comments on the stories! I think that since your story has a family at its base I would love to hear the commentary from the children in the middle of the story. It would help keep the stories in perspective. Besides that I was really intrigued by King Lycaon’s story! It really was interesting.
Your storybook blog page layout and appearance is great and really follows the storyline about bedtime stories with the dark and blue hue colors. In your introduction, I loved the picture about of the moon to set the nighttime setting, but I, personally, would have made the picture just a little smaller.
Wow, the story about The First Werewolf was incredible. It sounded like an actual story I would read in a published storybook. I loved the new additions to the story that you made because I could really learn about the background of the characters. I wish I had some constructive criticism, but I honestly do not. The transitions were great and it kept my attentions the whole time. In fact, I wanted to read more and more. This story reminds me of the movie Shrek, in a way, because of the journey to fight for the father’s approval and the fact that he changed into a werewolf when his temper comes out. Great job and I can’t wait to read more in your storybook!
I loved your introduction and the first story! I really like supernatural creatures, including werewolves, so I really enjoyed your Storybook. After reading you author's note, I was so impressed with your retelling! I think you made a great call with the romance, in fact, I was surprised that it wasn't in the original story, since it worked so well!
It was really cool to read about the first werewolf ever.
Also, you did a great job of capturing the King's fury, which is an integral part of the myth. Additionally, you did a great job of taking a small mention of Ovid's into a full blown story!
I think you could change your Storybook theme to be more, with a lake for a better word, werewolf-y. Like I would imagine either a black and white or red sort of theme, or a brown and green theme. But I am not sure blue works with the werewolf stories. Also, maybe adding an image of a werewolf on the front page would do well.
But seriously, the stories themselves are great. I look forward to reading your other stories.
Hello Blake, Your storybook topic is very interesting. It definitely grabbed my attention. I really like your layout and background colors. However, I feel like the navigation links are kind of hard to read. I adore the first sentence of your introduction. Certainly sets the mood to the story. I also love the intricate details you gave your characters. It is a good way to pull in your audience. I thought it was really clever how you said that the youngest was only able to shift her eyes and how you set the ambiance by saying the cabin was lit by a single candle and the flickering light of the fire. I enjoyed reading your adaptation of King Lyacon. After reading your author’s note, I was really impressed that you were able to expand on it. I find it funny that a King finally met someone that did not care for his wealth. I liked that you told a story within a story. Great job!
Hello again! I really liked your choice of titles for this story! “Ashes to ashes” is such a familiar line, and it immediately began giving me an idea of what I might be reading about. I really liked that you used a female for the main character in this story, and I loved her name. You did a really great job of connecting this story to the previous one, while still including the new information. That new information was also really creatively presented. You definitely took Herodotus’ description and made it your own. Once again, the dialogue was great and well balanced with the rest of the narration. I think my favorite part of the whole story was the last line—it was so awesome! There were a few small grammatical omissions, but nothing big. There should be a comma between “woman” and “and” in the fourth paragraph, and “Ash” and “and” in the sixth paragraph. Other than that, it looked great! I can’t wait to keep reading.
Oh my gosh! What a great storybook. I'm seriously impressed, Blake. I can’t wait to read more and I’m not just saying that. The writing is really good and the subject matter is very interesting.
I’ve never read King Lycaon’s story and it’s a great way to begin your storybook. All of the changes you made were for good reasons and I feel like your storybook is well thought-out. The image is also a great choice. I do have to say that the contrast between the background and the text on the first story could be a little better. I’m in well-lit room so its still readable but it may be difficult for some readers.
I love all the detail you added to the characters. All the little bits of information also help to build the reader’s knowledge of werewolves. Its nice that your have children of several different ages because you can easily describe werewolf development through their different abilities.
I’m looking forward to reading about Ash next time.
Hey Blake! I read your introduction the first week that we worked on our storybooks and I was really excited to read one of your stories this week! I think that it would be really cool if you updated the look of your website, maybe if you added an image of a werewolf howling at night or an image of a full moon to the background. I think it would really compliment your stories well and be a little more pleasing to the eye! I loved that your storybook is continuous throughout, kind of like chapters in a short book, and that you keep your stories in the same place or near it! I loved that you took this concept and adapted it to your storybook concept, and I think that it worked really well! Also, your picture is a perfect choice for this story and I love that it is a drawing instead of a photograph! Kind of like the drawing you might see in a storybook about the history of werewolves made for children!!
I really liked this story despite the tragedies in it. History is not always, or even often, happy. Let me just say, I love the theme of Ash surviving fire! My comments may be a little jumbled but I hope they are helpful!
In the second paragraph you said that Fortuna would rather kill the baby than give birth to a beast. That made me think she was going to kill the baby in the womb but she didn’t plan on that. Maybe you could change it to say, “be the mother of a beast.”
One thing that struck me is the lack of regret in the story. Fortuna does not quail to throw her only child into the fire and only stops because of a sign from the gods. She also shows little regret for her lost love Lycaon. Likewise Ash does not seem to regret killing Michael but is sorrowful only because he betrayed her love. Was this intentional? I wonder if ruthlessness is a trait of all werewolf kind passed down from Fortuna?
It felt a bit abrupt when Fortuna leaves to visit her parents. Maybe you could add a transition here to ease into the next part of the story. “One day Fortuna received a summons to her parents” or “After all the years apart, Fortuna could no longer bear separation from her parents. She thought that Ash was finally old enough to be left alone.” I don’t know. I think you could group this section about Fortuna leaving into a paragraph and start the next one with, “Michael invited Ash over for dinner.”
I have really enjoyed reading your storybook so far and I’m looking forward to the next installment. I can’t wait to see where you take the story next.
Hi again, Blake! I'm back to take a second look at your storybook and see where you have taken the story so far. Your first story was beautifully told. I was very impressed with the way that you fleshed out the relationship between Jupiter and Lycaon, you could really feel the effort and resentment. It was really emotive to show the struggle between anger and resentment and Jupiter's love for his daughter. The contrast was a really great way to bring readers into the story. And then the intervention on behalf of Lycaon and Fortuna by Juno and it's all really nice. And it fits so well with your storybook plot with the bedtime story. Really great job! See you again soon!
Hi Blake! I read your first two stories a few weeks ago, so I was excited to come back to this one. I love your werewolf origin story, I don’t think I’ve ever heard anything like it and I really find it super interesting. I found your most recent story about Fortuna and her daughter really compelling. You do a great job at making Fortuna sympathetic, which can be difficult because at the beginning she attempts to kill her child. Your stories also have so much intensity in their short segments. And I can tell that you did a lot of research for your storybook and it really is paying off! I really like how your story is set up, but I feel like I keep forgetting about the werewolf family and the kids. Maybe in the next story you could have the kids interjecting or commenting on the story. I would love to see more of their perspective on the stories.
Hi Blake! I picked your storybook to read because the title seemed really interesting. The site color and layout seem very cool. The coverpage brings a night time story feel to it.
I really like how much details you put into the introduction. It is very well written and it set up the future stories very nicely. I like the image also as it shows the reader what was being described.
Great details in the first story as well. I really really liked your story. It was like reading an book because of the attention to details. The image was great also, and went well with what was happening. Good placement of the image as well! I didn't find any errors, so great job on that. I am going to read the next story, but I will come back to comment on it later. Again, a very well written story!
Hey Blake, I really enjoyed reading your story because for one it was easy to read through and very interesting. Regarding your introduction I believe you did a excellent job setting the feel for your storybook. I like how you made the setting a cabin with a mother and children. The picture you added of the cabin with fur blankets also just gives me that werewolf type of feel. So you did a good job on the image selection. Regarding your first story I also want to point out that you did a good job on selecting the gods that were involved such as Juno and Fortuna. The Storyline was very interesting because the king turns into a wolf rather then it being the full moon that turns him into wolf like most werewolf stories go. I did not find any major errors to point out. You did a good job and keep up the good work.
Wow Blake! This is great! The last time I was on your storybook, all you had was your introduction! Now you have these stories and they are wonderful! I really like that you keep the language similar throughout all of your stories. It helps connect each story to one another. You add a lot of detail into your stories, which is great. I feel like your stories really come to life. As far as your formatting goes, I really like how simple it is. I can easily see everything due to your font and color choices, and you kept it simple to navigate. Overall, I really like your storybook! Your pictures fit accordingly to the stories and the placement is great as well. I did not see any major grammar or spelling issues. Good job! I look forward to coming back and seeing your storybook again! Good luck with the rest of the semester!
Hi, Blake! I’m excited to learn some werewolf history (especially at 2 in the morning, haha). Thoughts as I read:
Intro • D’aw, puppies. I like how with something as simple as giving us their ages and what part of the shift they can achieve, you do a bit of subtle world building. You’re giving us *your* wolves. • I love the image set up here: Big Mama Wolf has a fur across her lap, the presh pups gathered around. Through her you’ve already got a lot going on. But again, it’s all pretty subtle. I love it.
King Lycaon • Is there any particular reason for the dark gray font? It fits in well with the minimalism you have going on with the rest of your storybook, so it works – it just might get harder to read. • Oh, no, what’s a king without love? • Ah, the king’ll find it in a random singing, beautiful lady, yes? • Figures her dad’s a meannie. OH. He’s Jupiter. Well. • “The king has a bad temper.” This ain’t gonna end well. • Gotta love, Juno.
This was really great. Your story flowed seamlessly with your intro – very well done!
I decided that I wanted to come back to your project this week for our assignment. I am so glad that I did. You have done a wonderful job on this since I first visited and read your introduction. This week I read the story about King Lycaon and the first Werewolf. This was a great start for your project! I normally have to take pauses when reading a story to make sure that I am understanding what is going on. However, I was surprised that I did not have to do that with your story! I really wanted to know what was going to happen after the end of every sentence. I especially loved when Jupiter was not stupid and knew what they King was trying to do. That was my favorite part. I also think that this story has a moral to go to it. Bad tempers could be compared to acting like a werewolf for a moment. I also enjoyed how at the end of the story you kind of prepared us for the next story about the first child. Well done!
Hi there! I am revisiting your storybook for what seems like the third or fourth week in a row, and I am really pleased that I did. I loved the premise behind your story, but there were a few places that confused me a little bit. For instance, you say “(He makes Ann mad and she transforms," ” which seems almost like you intended to go back and add more information, but didn’t. It would make a little more sense in context if you described how he made her mad. I was also a little confused when you mentioned the sermon. Was the sermon saying sodomy and werewolves were good or not an issue or something else? A little bit more information on that would be helpful, as well. Like I said, I loved the idea behind your story. It was really creative of you to weave all of those elements together. Nicely done!
Blake! (I wonder, how is your book coming along? Nicely I hope!) I really like this storybook! I already have a soft spot for wolves and general lore of that nature so I was excited from the beginning. I really enjoy your storytelling style and how it switches. Your expansion on the story of Metamorphosis was really great and I found myself interested from beginning to end even though I'd heard the tale (more or less) before. What I really like is when we switch back to the 'current' day with mother wolf and the children. You almost forget about them when you get wrapped up in the story she's telling but it's wonderful being drawn back into her den and I felt just like the little children wondering, 'what happened next!".
Hey, Blake! I’m starting on the “Ashes to Ashes.” Some thoughts as I read:
• I love how your last story flows right into this one. • Noooo don’t kill the baby! • Oh, thank Jupiter! • OH, ASH! Haha, I get it. I see what you did there. • Poor Ash, trying to hide her true self – hashtag-conceal-don’t-feel • Whoop, mama’s gone, time to go over to a boy’s house. • Stupid Mich—oh, things just got real.
I actually really enjoy sad endings – not everything works out the way we want them to, and I appreciate stories that show that! You did just that and then some. I do like the little glimmer of hope that mama wolf gives to the pups at the end.
The shifts between the stories and the storyteller are great in that you use the right opening line to bring us back to the present. That can get tricky sometimes, but you do it very well.
I’m really enjoying this and I can’t wait to read more!
You did a great job with this Storybook so far. I liked the intro story. It really set the mood for the other stories and the picture really helps too. You did a great job with your descriptive words. By the time I got to the picture, I had a mental image that looked a lot like that. The dialogue between characters was also a nice touch. The dialogue gave a more personal touch with the characters. With the setting of a bedroom with a mother and her cubs, it made it better.
I didn’t see grammatical errors or confusing parts while reading so you did a good job at editing. I look forward to reading the rest of your stories and I hope these comments help you write better ones for your story book.
That definitely wasn’t what I expected when you said the next story was a love story. It’s great for King Edward and Gaveston but that can’t be the best arrangement for Ann. The image from The Other Boleyn Girl was an apt choice. I’m ready to see a real happy ending for a werewolf which I think we will see in the next story about the werewolf parents.
I found myself wondering what happened to Ash. I can’t picture her having a happing ending but the werewolf line lived on. Where did she go and who did she have children with? Did werewolves secretly mate with humans during this time, running away to raise their young alone?
I’ve been curious throughout your storybook about the trigger for a werewolf’s shift. Common lore says that it comes with the full moon but in your stories, it seems to be directly tied to the werewolf’s temper. Despite this, I still noticed that you made many references to a monthly pattern of attacks. Also Gaveston had one month to come up with a solution. Just wondered if you were playing with an idea there.
I like how you took an obscure sermon and integrated it into your story. You were able to take just one element of the preacher’s message and infuse it into the priest. It’s really interesting to read original documents form different time periods. We have come a long way.
Hi Blake! You are such a fantastic writer, and pursuing your dreams of writing is so inspiring! I am glad to say that I have met you in an actual classroom before, and I just came here to tell you how much I appreciate your work! Your dedication shines through what you do, and your words are so eloquent that it is always enjoyable to read. Great job this semester with this class, and I wish you good luck on your future endeavors!
I have seen your storybook several times over the semester, but I never got around to reading it until now! I love your idea for this story and how you went about writing it! I like how you loosely connected the stories to 'real' world examples. I have to say that I really loved the idea of incorporating the werewolves into the British royalty, primarily because there is a Doctor Who episode that touches on the same thing! And it would totally make sense since it would be perfect protection and allow them to control the information about them! I also like that you ended it with the story of the parents. Bringing the history from the beginning all the way to the present was a great choice!
You are such a fantastic writer and it really shows in this storybook. I'm kind of glad I waited until now to read your project since it allowed me to read the entire thing at once!
Hi Blake! This is the first time I have seen your storybook. I like how simple the introduction page is. It is not distracting and I can see the text clearly. I really like the picture you chose. I would love to escape to that cozy bed during finals week. I didn't ever get to read your story during the other weeks. I can see why it was a voted a favorite. You write very well. Your first story was great, the text of it was slightly difficult. I have a hard time seeing sometimes. The way you ended the first to lead into the next story is excellent! Your author's note helped clear some details up. All in all I am impressed with your storybook! It's great, good job!
Hi Blake! I came back to your storybook to read your latest stories. In “Werewolf Royalty” I thought it was such an interesting twist to have to king willing to hide a secret so bad he was willing to marry a werewolf! I also loved that you chose a picture from Game of Thrones, I love the storyline between Margery’s and Renly. It was so interesting. I was so mad when he died!! I like that you placed your story within your story instead of at the end because I think that adds a lot to your storytelling and really helps to illustrate the scene that you are describing. I hope this isn’t the end of your storybook and you’ll go in to how the mother and father werewolf met! I really like how you can convey so much through short stories. I love how all of your story was based in historical mythology and real history as well!
Hello! I am actually in the Indian Epics class, but since this week we are given the opportunity to comment on other works, I decided to read through your storybook. It was really interesting to see how the different classes have their own styles of writing, based on what we have all been reading and I definitely enjoyed reading through your storybook. I like how you were able to incorporate different myths into the overall arc of your storybook. The feeling of sitting by the fireplace and listening to a tale that has been passed down for generations was very apparent and well done. I also like that you ranged from Greek and Roman mythology to European “history.” The image of Margaery Tyrell and Renly Baratheon was a nice touch as well, for multiple reasons. My only critique is that the light gray text is a little difficult to read on the slightly lighter gray background, but it isn’t too distracting. Overall, I really loved your story book. Good luck with the remainder of the semester and finals!
You did such a great job on this storybook. I really liked reading every story. The background and images really helps us visualize the events, settings, and characters in the story. The blue on the contents list was a little hard to read with the gray background, but the color in the stories was good. The font was easy to read and wasn’t boring. It also didn’t take away from the story. I felt like all the stories were very well written. The dialogue was nice because it gave it a more personal touch. I didn’t see any grammatical errors or confusing parts, so you did a good job with editing. The exclamation marks really put emphasis throughout. This was something I wish I did for my story to really put it in the moment when someone was yelling. The stories were very captivating and I really liked reading the Ashes To Ashes story. It got intense at times and that really pulled me in. You did a great job with this and I’m glad I read this.
Blake, Im pretty sure this is the first time i have been to your page after looking at the top storybooks i just had to read yours the title drew me in and after that i was hooked. your writing style is very fluid and i can easily see how your were one of the top story books. you have a lot of dialog in your story as well and I think that is something that really helps to push a story along. not only that but your dialog is written very well. I love how you took such a simply story and made it your own. I like that you added in the love interest and made the other gods help him. I really like how you tell the story as if the mother is telling it. It made me feel like one of the pups sitting there. good work and congratulations.
Blake, I hadn't read your storybook before, so I got to see it all in one go! And I have to say, the way you tied all the tales together as bedtime stories is a great style and made the reader feel just as eager to hear the next as the kids.
I really like the way your entries were based on tales rather than direct retellings. It made the content feel more organic, since it was hard to pin down the story til you get to author's note, then went 'ohhh, I see it.' I would have to say that my favourite of the entries is either Lone Wolf ( for incorporating werewolf culture) or Werewolf Royalty (cause if you're going to write an AU, why not go all the way!?) Great job and congrats on making the Favourites list!
Hey Blake, this was an awesome idea for a storybook! Your title for the story book drew me in right away and I was instantly hooked. It’s hard to turn down reading a bunch of stories all about werewolves. This was a very unique concept to make a continuation on so I thought that was really cool. I always love reading stories based off of monsters and ghosts and werewolves are some of the most interesting monsters to read about in my opinion. This story book introduction kind of reminds me of Goosebumps, the television show. There is one episode where these young kids stay at their grandparents’ house and don’t even realize that they are actually werewolves. You also did a great job on all of the little things too. There weren’t really any grammatical or spelling errors and all of the stories were nicely laid out with good picture presentation. All in all you did a very good job, well done!
I haven't visited your storybook in a long time. Wow was I amazed when I went back to see how it has grown. You have done an amazing job. You got me hooked after the introduction. I loved it. Your blog looks amazing because of the color scheme and images that you chose. I got goosebumps while reading some of the stories. I did not see any errors at all when reading through your story. My favorite thing is that you made all of the stories a part of a bigger story. I love small stories that build into a bigger story. You did a great job throughout the semester and you truly deserved your spot on the favorites list!
I would like to start off saying I like the title of your storybook, it is what caught my attention. The first think I did notice was the picture on the home page was black. Other than that the overall look of the page was nice and simple. I like the colors you chose for the font and background. That made it nice and easy to read. Bedtime stories is the perfect way to tell these types of stories. I tried reading as many of the stories as I could, and they all kept my attention the whole time. To me keeping my attention through out is important, and you did that with more than one story. Your author’s notes were always detailed enough with information from the original stories and why you changed them they way you did. I can definitely tell how your storybook ended up on the top list! .\
I had not visited your storybook before it was picked for the top of the class. Your introduction intrigued me. I liked how you specified it was not a litter of pups that were all the same age. Instead some of them had more experience at being a werewolf than others. I thought you opened the introduction well with the Mother being specified as the storyteller. I enjoyed learning the how the werewolves came about. I liked that the pups were learning at a young age what they were to do and not do. I think you have a solid storybook here. I wish I had more time to read it before! I think you did a good job with your revisions. I did not find any grammatical errors. Your layout compliments your storybook because the blue makes me think of a wolf howling at the moon. It is also simple and makes it easy to read.
Posts
41 comments:
Hello Blake,
I really like the layout of your blog post. The dark background is a good contrast from the stories and does not clutter the story. I know that some backgrounds can almost be too overwhelming and people spend more time looking at the background than the content. I also really like how your directory box is a different color. It made it extremely accessible and easy to find where to go in your blog post for comments.
Hi Blake,
I really like the color scheme of your blog.The way the dark blue contrasts with the pale yellow makes your writings really stand out. I also like that your sidebar with your labels and archive is a different color. Basically the colors lead your eyes to specific places and make it so easy to navigate. Despite if that was intentional or not, you did a really good job on your blog design and I really appreciate the simplicity of it.
Good job! I hope you're having a good semester!
I loved your introduction! It was great how you laid out some background information (specifically, the ages the shifting begins and how it develops) really subtly! You also make them seem so much like a regular family, which is awesome. Your description of the mother wolf makes her seem warm and kind, like many of us would describe our own mothers. Yet, you also inserted the comment about the father werewolf tracking down prey. I think it is really hard sometimes to make creatures that are historically described as monsters seem both powerful and kind. This is a small detail, but I think it was really cute that the twins spoke in unison! That’s such a tiny thing, but it goes a long way in bringing them to life as characters.
Overall, there really aren’t any changes I would make. Your writing flows really well, and there was a good mix of description and dialog. There should be a comma after “passed” towards the end of the intro, but that is the only thing I could see. All in all: it was very nicely done! I can’t wait to read the next part.
I really loved your introduction. I have a hard time giving my characters details like ages and such, but seeing you did that from the start means I should probably follow suit. I get too caught up in the story line, that I seem to ignore the charters that are part of the story. I like that the mother of the children was a motherly figure, as we would describe our mothers. You made the werewolves almost seem gentle and kind. But then again, as you described the father, we got to see the types of werewolves that we all have heard in the stories. I really like your style of writing and your word choice. It seems almost calming. There is nothing that I saw that I would recommend changing. I feel like you really put a lot of hard work and detail into your introduction post. Good job!
Hey Blake! First off, I love your title to your Storybook! It definitely grabbed my attention and made me want to read more to figure out what I don't know about Werewolf history! The design of your website is really simple, I think it could be really cool to add a picture to the background- maybe a full moon or a wolf picture! I think a picture in your background could really add to the starkness of your website! I love the first sentence to your introduction; it reminded me of a father or grandfather gathering around the kids to teach them a thing or two about "the olden days." Your introduction made me think I was right in that cabin with the pups! I really like that your last couple of sentences tell the reader what the first story will be about, it is really helpful and makes me want to keep reading!
Congrats on getting this far on your storybook! I know that it has been a lot of work. First off, your blog looks very nice. It is just minimalistic enough but still speaks to the theme of your whole storybook. It would be nice if there was a little more to the blog, however, just so that the reader has more to look at and better understand your theme by. Just a little more something The intro was very well written. I liked how you set the story up. It made it very easy to find yourself invested in the story as it felt like you were just another one of the werewolf children about to learn what it means to be a werewolf and be involved in your own history. I definitely will keep an eye out for the continuation of this story! Great job!
Hello, again!
I headed back to your storybook for one of my free choice spots this week. I was not disappointed! Your first story was SO CREATIVE. I think the Metamorphosis story was a great starting point for your werewolf history, and you presented it in such a way that you will be able to flow seamlessly into the next story. You author’s note was really helpful in letting the reader know the changes you made, and also what details are important to note. Again, I really enjoyed the flow of your writing and the third person style you employ. Aesthetically, the font and text are all pleasing and easy to read, and the separation of the story within a story is marked nicely with the asterisks.
There are quite a few missing commas, so you might just want to run back through and add some here and there, unless you were leaving them out for stylistic purposes. Overall, great job! Can’t wait to read more.
Blake,
Your title threw me off for a second but then I realized that there was a story behind "The Werewolf". Very creative! I like to think that first impressions are always very important. I think that your stories are really great and your introduction has done an excellent job in setting the theme for your project. However, I think that it would be a good idea to work on the layout of your page. Although I have no problem with the simplicity of the page, the blue and they grey were a little distracting as I was trying to read since they didn't really coincide in my mind. Again, this is all an opinion and if what you have going on right now is working for you that is great! You had a really good Author's Note that helped me follow along to the changes that you had made. Great start.
Hi Blake!!
I like that your introduction had a purpose for why the mother was talking to the kids about their history. I thought that her trying to entertain them while the father is out hunting is such a nice tough and you made it sound so cozy with them being snuggling up around a fire!! Also I love the picture you used. It really fits with your description. Everything in your introduction just fits together so well.
I also really liked your first story. But one thing I would maybe implement in your other stories is the kids’ comments on the stories! I think that since your story has a family at its base I would love to hear the commentary from the children in the middle of the story. It would help keep the stories in perspective. Besides that I was really intrigued by King Lycaon’s story! It really was interesting.
Hey Blake!
Your storybook blog page layout and appearance is great and really follows the storyline about bedtime stories with the dark and blue hue colors. In your introduction, I loved the picture about of the moon to set the nighttime setting, but I, personally, would have made the picture just a little smaller.
Wow, the story about The First Werewolf was incredible. It sounded like an actual story I would read in a published storybook. I loved the new additions to the story that you made because I could really learn about the background of the characters. I wish I had some constructive criticism, but I honestly do not. The transitions were great and it kept my attentions the whole time. In fact, I wanted to read more and more. This story reminds me of the movie Shrek, in a way, because of the journey to fight for the father’s approval and the fact that he changed into a werewolf when his temper comes out. Great job and I can’t wait to read more in your storybook!
I loved your introduction and the first story! I really like supernatural creatures, including werewolves, so I really enjoyed your Storybook. After reading you author's note, I was so impressed with your retelling! I think you made a great call with the romance, in fact, I was surprised that it wasn't in the original story, since it worked so well!
It was really cool to read about the first werewolf ever.
Also, you did a great job of capturing the King's fury, which is an integral part of the myth. Additionally, you did a great job of taking a small mention of Ovid's into a full blown story!
I think you could change your Storybook theme to be more, with a lake for a better word, werewolf-y. Like I would imagine either a black and white or red sort of theme, or a brown and green theme. But I am not sure blue works with the werewolf stories. Also, maybe adding an image of a werewolf on the front page would do well.
But seriously, the stories themselves are great. I look forward to reading your other stories.
Hello Blake,
Your storybook topic is very interesting. It definitely grabbed my attention. I really like your layout and background colors. However, I feel like the navigation links are kind of hard to read. I adore the first sentence of your introduction. Certainly sets the mood to the story. I also love the intricate details you gave your characters. It is a good way to pull in your audience. I thought it was really clever how you said that the youngest was only able to shift her eyes and how you set the ambiance by saying the cabin was lit by a single candle and the flickering light of the fire. I enjoyed reading your adaptation of King Lyacon. After reading your author’s note, I was really impressed that you were able to expand on it. I find it funny that a King finally met someone that did not care for his wealth. I liked that you told a story within a story. Great job!
Hello again!
I really liked your choice of titles for this story! “Ashes to ashes” is such a familiar line, and it immediately began giving me an idea of what I might be reading about.
I really liked that you used a female for the main character in this story, and I loved her name. You did a really great job of connecting this story to the previous one, while still including the new information. That new information was also really creatively presented. You definitely took Herodotus’ description and made it your own. Once again, the dialogue was great and well balanced with the rest of the narration. I think my favorite part of the whole story was the last line—it was so awesome!
There were a few small grammatical omissions, but nothing big. There should be a comma between “woman” and “and” in the fourth paragraph, and “Ash” and “and” in the sixth paragraph. Other than that, it looked great! I can’t wait to keep reading.
Oh my gosh! What a great storybook. I'm seriously impressed, Blake. I can’t wait to read more and I’m not just saying that. The writing is really good and the subject matter is very interesting.
I’ve never read King Lycaon’s story and it’s a great way to begin your storybook. All of the changes you made were for good reasons and I feel like your storybook is well thought-out. The image is also a great choice. I do have to say that the contrast between the background and the text on the first story could be a little better. I’m in well-lit room so its still readable but it may be difficult for some readers.
I love all the detail you added to the characters. All the little bits of information also help to build the reader’s knowledge of werewolves. Its nice that your have children of several different ages because you can easily describe werewolf development through their different abilities.
I’m looking forward to reading about Ash next time.
Hey Blake!
I read your introduction the first week that we worked on our storybooks and I was really excited to read one of your stories this week!
I think that it would be really cool if you updated the look of your website, maybe if you added an image of a werewolf howling at night or an image of a full moon to the background. I think it would really compliment your stories well and be a little more pleasing to the eye!
I loved that your storybook is continuous throughout, kind of like chapters in a short book, and that you keep your stories in the same place or near it! I loved that you took this concept and adapted it to your storybook concept, and I think that it worked really well! Also, your picture is a perfect choice for this story and I love that it is a drawing instead of a photograph! Kind of like the drawing you might see in a storybook about the history of werewolves made for children!!
I really liked this story despite the tragedies in it. History is not always, or even often, happy. Let me just say, I love the theme of Ash surviving fire! My comments may be a little jumbled but I hope they are helpful!
In the second paragraph you said that Fortuna would rather kill the baby than give birth to a beast. That made me think she was going to kill the baby in the womb but she didn’t plan on that. Maybe you could change it to say, “be the mother of a beast.”
One thing that struck me is the lack of regret in the story. Fortuna does not quail to throw her only child into the fire and only stops because of a sign from the gods. She also shows little regret for her lost love Lycaon. Likewise Ash does not seem to regret killing Michael but is sorrowful only because he betrayed her love. Was this intentional? I wonder if ruthlessness is a trait of all werewolf kind passed down from Fortuna?
It felt a bit abrupt when Fortuna leaves to visit her parents. Maybe you could add a transition here to ease into the next part of the story. “One day Fortuna received a summons to her parents” or “After all the years apart, Fortuna could no longer bear separation from her parents. She thought that Ash was finally old enough to be left alone.” I don’t know. I think you could group this section about Fortuna leaving into a paragraph and start the next one with, “Michael invited Ash over for dinner.”
I have really enjoyed reading your storybook so far and I’m looking forward to the next installment. I can’t wait to see where you take the story next.
Hi again, Blake! I'm back to take a second look at your storybook and see where you have taken the story so far. Your first story was beautifully told. I was very impressed with the way that you fleshed out the relationship between Jupiter and Lycaon, you could really feel the effort and resentment. It was really emotive to show the struggle between anger and resentment and Jupiter's love for his daughter. The contrast was a really great way to bring readers into the story. And then the intervention on behalf of Lycaon and Fortuna by Juno and it's all really nice. And it fits so well with your storybook plot with the bedtime story. Really great job! See you again soon!
Hi Blake! I read your first two stories a few weeks ago, so I was excited to come back to this one. I love your werewolf origin story, I don’t think I’ve ever heard anything like it and I really find it super interesting. I found your most recent story about Fortuna and her daughter really compelling. You do a great job at making Fortuna sympathetic, which can be difficult because at the beginning she attempts to kill her child. Your stories also have so much intensity in their short segments. And I can tell that you did a lot of research for your storybook and it really is paying off! I really like how your story is set up, but I feel like I keep forgetting about the werewolf family and the kids. Maybe in the next story you could have the kids interjecting or commenting on the story. I would love to see more of their perspective on the stories.
Hi Blake! I picked your storybook to read because the title seemed really interesting. The site color and layout seem very cool. The coverpage brings a night time story feel to it.
I really like how much details you put into the introduction. It is very well written and it set up the future stories very nicely. I like the image also as it shows the reader what was being described.
Great details in the first story as well. I really really liked your story. It was like reading an book because of the attention to details. The image was great also, and went well with what was happening. Good placement of the image as well! I didn't find any errors, so great job on that. I am going to read the next story, but I will come back to comment on it later. Again, a very well written story!
Hey Blake,
I really enjoyed reading your story because for one it was easy to read through and very interesting. Regarding your introduction I believe you did a excellent job setting the feel for your storybook. I like how you made the setting a cabin with a mother and children. The picture you added of the cabin with fur blankets also just gives me that werewolf type of feel. So you did a good job on the image selection. Regarding your first story I also want to point out that you did a good job on selecting the gods that were involved such as Juno and Fortuna. The Storyline was very interesting because the king turns into a wolf rather then it being the full moon that turns him into wolf like most werewolf stories go. I did not find any major errors to point out. You did a good job and keep up the good work.
Wow Blake! This is great!
The last time I was on your storybook, all you had was your introduction! Now you have these stories and they are wonderful!
I really like that you keep the language similar throughout all of your stories. It helps connect each story to one another.
You add a lot of detail into your stories, which is great. I feel like your stories really come to life.
As far as your formatting goes, I really like how simple it is. I can easily see everything due to your font and color choices, and you kept it simple to navigate.
Overall, I really like your storybook! Your pictures fit accordingly to the stories and the placement is great as well.
I did not see any major grammar or spelling issues. Good job! I look forward to coming back and seeing your storybook again! Good luck with the rest of the semester!
Hi, Blake! I’m excited to learn some werewolf history (especially at 2 in the morning, haha). Thoughts as I read:
Intro
• D’aw, puppies. I like how with something as simple as giving us their ages and what part of the shift they can achieve, you do a bit of subtle world building. You’re giving us *your* wolves.
• I love the image set up here: Big Mama Wolf has a fur across her lap, the presh pups gathered around. Through her you’ve already got a lot going on. But again, it’s all pretty subtle. I love it.
King Lycaon
• Is there any particular reason for the dark gray font? It fits in well with the minimalism you have going on with the rest of your storybook, so it works – it just might get harder to read.
• Oh, no, what’s a king without love?
• Ah, the king’ll find it in a random singing, beautiful lady, yes?
• Figures her dad’s a meannie. OH. He’s Jupiter. Well.
• “The king has a bad temper.” This ain’t gonna end well.
• Gotta love, Juno.
This was really great. Your story flowed seamlessly with your intro – very well done!
Blake,
I decided that I wanted to come back to your project this week for our assignment. I am so glad that I did. You have done a wonderful job on this since I first visited and read your introduction. This week I read the story about King Lycaon and the first Werewolf. This was a great start for your project! I normally have to take pauses when reading a story to make sure that I am understanding what is going on. However, I was surprised that I did not have to do that with your story! I really wanted to know what was going to happen after the end of every sentence. I especially loved when Jupiter was not stupid and knew what they King was trying to do. That was my favorite part. I also think that this story has a moral to go to it. Bad tempers could be compared to acting like a werewolf for a moment. I also enjoyed how at the end of the story you kind of prepared us for the next story about the first child. Well done!
Hi there! I am revisiting your storybook for what seems like the third or fourth week in a row, and I am really pleased that I did.
I loved the premise behind your story, but there were a few places that confused me a little bit. For instance, you say “(He makes Ann mad and she transforms," ” which seems almost like you intended to go back and add more information, but didn’t. It would make a little more sense in context if you described how he made her mad.
I was also a little confused when you mentioned the sermon. Was the sermon saying sodomy and werewolves were good or not an issue or something else? A little bit more information on that would be helpful, as well.
Like I said, I loved the idea behind your story. It was really creative of you to weave all of those elements together. Nicely done!
Blake! (I wonder, how is your book coming along? Nicely I hope!) I really like this storybook! I already have a soft spot for wolves and general lore of that nature so I was excited from the beginning. I really enjoy your storytelling style and how it switches. Your expansion on the story of Metamorphosis was really great and I found myself interested from beginning to end even though I'd heard the tale (more or less) before. What I really like is when we switch back to the 'current' day with mother wolf and the children. You almost forget about them when you get wrapped up in the story she's telling but it's wonderful being drawn back into her den and I felt just like the little children wondering, 'what happened next!".
Hey, Blake! I’m starting on the “Ashes to Ashes.” Some thoughts as I read:
• I love how your last story flows right into this one.
• Noooo don’t kill the baby!
• Oh, thank Jupiter!
• OH, ASH! Haha, I get it. I see what you did there.
• Poor Ash, trying to hide her true self – hashtag-conceal-don’t-feel
• Whoop, mama’s gone, time to go over to a boy’s house.
• Stupid Mich—oh, things just got real.
I actually really enjoy sad endings – not everything works out the way we want them to, and I appreciate stories that show that! You did just that and then some. I do like the little glimmer of hope that mama wolf gives to the pups at the end.
The shifts between the stories and the storyteller are great in that you use the right opening line to bring us back to the present. That can get tricky sometimes, but you do it very well.
I’m really enjoying this and I can’t wait to read more!
You did a great job with this Storybook so far. I liked the intro story. It really set the mood for the other stories and the picture really helps too. You did a great job with your descriptive words. By the time I got to the picture, I had a mental image that looked a lot like that. The dialogue between characters was also a nice touch. The dialogue gave a more personal touch with the characters. With the setting of a bedroom with a mother and her cubs, it made it better.
I didn’t see grammatical errors or confusing parts while reading so you did a good job at editing. I look forward to reading the rest of your stories and I hope these comments help you write better ones for your story book.
That definitely wasn’t what I expected when you said the next story was a love story. It’s great for King Edward and Gaveston but that can’t be the best arrangement for Ann. The image from The Other Boleyn Girl was an apt choice. I’m ready to see a real happy ending for a werewolf which I think we will see in the next story about the werewolf parents.
I found myself wondering what happened to Ash. I can’t picture her having a happing ending but the werewolf line lived on. Where did she go and who did she have children with? Did werewolves secretly mate with humans during this time, running away to raise their young alone?
I’ve been curious throughout your storybook about the trigger for a werewolf’s shift. Common lore says that it comes with the full moon but in your stories, it seems to be directly tied to the werewolf’s temper. Despite this, I still noticed that you made many references to a monthly pattern of attacks. Also Gaveston had one month to come up with a solution. Just wondered if you were playing with an idea there.
I like how you took an obscure sermon and integrated it into your story. You were able to take just one element of the preacher’s message and infuse it into the priest. It’s really interesting to read original documents form different time periods. We have come a long way.
Hi Blake! You are such a fantastic writer, and pursuing your dreams of writing is so inspiring! I am glad to say that I have met you in an actual classroom before, and I just came here to tell you how much I appreciate your work! Your dedication shines through what you do, and your words are so eloquent that it is always enjoyable to read. Great job this semester with this class, and I wish you good luck on your future endeavors!
I have seen your storybook several times over the semester, but I never got around to reading it until now! I love your idea for this story and how you went about writing it! I like how you loosely connected the stories to 'real' world examples. I have to say that I really loved the idea of incorporating the werewolves into the British royalty, primarily because there is a Doctor Who episode that touches on the same thing! And it would totally make sense since it would be perfect protection and allow them to control the information about them! I also like that you ended it with the story of the parents. Bringing the history from the beginning all the way to the present was a great choice!
You are such a fantastic writer and it really shows in this storybook. I'm kind of glad I waited until now to read your project since it allowed me to read the entire thing at once!
Hi Blake!
This is the first time I have seen your storybook. I like how simple the introduction page is. It is not distracting and I can see the text clearly. I really like the picture you chose. I would love to escape to that cozy bed during finals week. I didn't ever get to read your story during the other weeks. I can see why it was a voted a favorite. You write very well. Your first story was great, the text of it was slightly difficult. I have a hard time seeing sometimes. The way you ended the first to lead into the next story is excellent! Your author's note helped clear some details up. All in all I am impressed with your storybook! It's great, good job!
Hi Blake! I came back to your storybook to read your latest stories. In “Werewolf Royalty” I thought it was such an interesting twist to have to king willing to hide a secret so bad he was willing to marry a werewolf! I also loved that you chose a picture from Game of Thrones, I love the storyline between Margery’s and Renly. It was so interesting. I was so mad when he died!! I like that you placed your story within your story instead of at the end because I think that adds a lot to your storytelling and really helps to illustrate the scene that you are describing. I hope this isn’t the end of your storybook and you’ll go in to how the mother and father werewolf met! I really like how you can convey so much through short stories. I love how all of your story was based in historical mythology and real history as well!
Hello! I am actually in the Indian Epics class, but since this week we are given the opportunity to comment on other works, I decided to read through your storybook. It was really interesting to see how the different classes have their own styles of writing, based on what we have all been reading and I definitely enjoyed reading through your storybook. I like how you were able to incorporate different myths into the overall arc of your storybook. The feeling of sitting by the fireplace and listening to a tale that has been passed down for generations was very apparent and well done. I also like that you ranged from Greek and Roman mythology to European “history.” The image of Margaery Tyrell and Renly Baratheon was a nice touch as well, for multiple reasons. My only critique is that the light gray text is a little difficult to read on the slightly lighter gray background, but it isn’t too distracting. Overall, I really loved your story book. Good luck with the remainder of the semester and finals!
You did such a great job on this storybook. I really liked reading every story. The background and images really helps us visualize the events, settings, and characters in the story. The blue on the contents list was a little hard to read with the gray background, but the color in the stories was good. The font was easy to read and wasn’t boring. It also didn’t take away from the story.
I felt like all the stories were very well written. The dialogue was nice because it gave it a more personal touch. I didn’t see any grammatical errors or confusing parts, so you did a good job with editing. The exclamation marks really put emphasis throughout. This was something I wish I did for my story to really put it in the moment when someone was yelling. The stories were very captivating and I really liked reading the Ashes To Ashes story. It got intense at times and that really pulled me in. You did a great job with this and I’m glad I read this.
Blake,
Im pretty sure this is the first time i have been to your page after looking at the top storybooks i just had to read yours the title drew me in and after that i was hooked. your writing style is very fluid and i can easily see how your were one of the top story books. you have a lot of dialog in your story as well and I think that is something that really helps to push a story along. not only that but your dialog is written very well. I love how you took such a simply story and made it your own. I like that you added in the love interest and made the other gods help him. I really like how you tell the story as if the mother is telling it. It made me feel like one of the pups sitting there. good work and congratulations.
Blake,
I hadn't read your storybook before, so I got to see it all in one go! And I have to say, the way you tied all the tales together as bedtime stories is a great style and made the reader feel just as eager to hear the next as the kids.
I really like the way your entries were based on tales rather than direct retellings. It made the content feel more organic, since it was hard to pin down the story til you get to author's note, then went 'ohhh, I see it.' I would have to say that my favourite of the entries is either Lone Wolf ( for incorporating werewolf culture) or Werewolf Royalty (cause if you're going to write an AU, why not go all the way!?) Great job and congrats on making the Favourites list!
Hey Blake, this was an awesome idea for a storybook! Your title for the story book drew me in right away and I was instantly hooked. It’s hard to turn down reading a bunch of stories all about werewolves. This was a very unique concept to make a continuation on so I thought that was really cool. I always love reading stories based off of monsters and ghosts and werewolves are some of the most interesting monsters to read about in my opinion. This story book introduction kind of reminds me of Goosebumps, the television show. There is one episode where these young kids stay at their grandparents’ house and don’t even realize that they are actually werewolves. You also did a great job on all of the little things too. There weren’t really any grammatical or spelling errors and all of the stories were nicely laid out with good picture presentation. All in all you did a very good job, well done!
Hi Blake,
I haven't visited your storybook in a long time. Wow was I amazed when I went back to see how it has grown. You have done an amazing job. You got me hooked after the introduction. I loved it. Your blog looks amazing because of the color scheme and images that you chose. I got goosebumps while reading some of the stories. I did not see any errors at all when reading through your story. My favorite thing is that you made all of the stories a part of a bigger story. I love small stories that build into a bigger story. You did a great job throughout the semester and you truly deserved your spot on the favorites list!
Amazing job!
I would like to start off saying I like the title of your storybook, it is what caught my attention. The first think I did notice was the picture on the home page was black. Other than that the overall look of the page was nice and simple. I like the colors you chose for the font and background. That made it nice and easy to read. Bedtime stories is the perfect way to tell these types of stories. I tried reading as many of the stories as I could, and they all kept my attention the whole time. To me keeping my attention through out is important, and you did that with more than one story. Your author’s notes were always detailed enough with information from the original stories and why you changed them they way you did. I can definitely tell how your storybook ended up on the top list! .\
I had not visited your storybook before it was picked for the top of the class.
Your introduction intrigued me. I liked how you specified it was not a litter of pups that were all the same age. Instead some of them had more experience at being a werewolf than others. I thought you opened the introduction well with the Mother being specified as the storyteller.
I enjoyed learning the how the werewolves came about. I liked that the pups were learning at a young age what they were to do and not do. I think you have a solid storybook here. I wish I had more time to read it before!
I think you did a good job with your revisions. I did not find any grammatical errors.
Your layout compliments your storybook because the blue makes me think of a wolf howling at the moon. It is also simple and makes it easy to read.
Post a Comment